


unbidden, a heart of mine

by stellaris



Category: Akatsuki no Yona | Yona of the Dawn
Genre: M/M, PINING!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-07
Updated: 2016-01-07
Packaged: 2018-05-12 11:36:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5664682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stellaris/pseuds/stellaris
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They wouldn't have chosen each other, if they were ordinary people. And yet—</p>
            </blockquote>





	unbidden, a heart of mine

They wouldn’t have chosen each other, if they were ordinary people.

Kija knew this like he knew the sky was blue and the grass was (usually) green— it was a hard, cold fact. They were much too different— Kija was resolute, firm in his decision to follow the duties that had been bestowed onto him the second he was born, his right hand a blessed white to his villagers and a cracked curse to the man who brought him into this world. He never backed down from the promise he did not make but was destined to keep— he embraced it, cherished it, _yearned_ for it for twenty years. 

Jae-ha, on the other hand, was nearly his polar opposite— the green dragon defied his existence, rejected the mission given to him and ran as fast as his legs would take him, flying away to live freely under a different sky. He only truly desired freedom after a lifetime spent in chains. A ‘king’ he was meant to serve? Jae-ha couldn’t think of anything more ridiculous, more _hideous_ than being tied down to someone he didn’t know, nor had any desire to know. 

They both wanted different things in life. Kija was sure if they weren’t the dragons, they would have never picked each other to be in one another’s life— no, they probably wouldn’t have met at all. Jae-ha would just be another stranger on the street, a spared glance as he passes by, nothing more. 

And yet, there they lay, in the same tent, traveling with the same group of people that are, in every sense of the word, their family. Because they aren’t ordinary people. Because they are different. 

Kija traces his eyes over the slope of Jae-ha’s nose, over the sharp curve of his jaw to the too-long eyelashes brushing over his cheekbones as he sleeps, committing it to memory. And somehow, Kija is content. Jae-ha can be a pain, a truly frustrating person to live with, but try as he might to hide it, he cares about them. About _him._

 _We wouldn’t have chosen each other,_ Kija thinks with a smile, _but we’re family now, anyways._

x

The thought dawns on him early one spring morning.

Kija goes out to the river just as the sun rises from the horizon, careful not to wake anyone else up. An old habit he can’t seem to break— he still bathes in the mornings, when everyone is sleeping. 

The cold water is jarring to his warm skin as he sinks in, a small shiver running down his back. He closes his eyes and dips under, only opening them to stare at the sparkling surface as the morning sunlight filters through, shining like starlight. It almost reminds him of Jae-ha’s wide smile after telling him a rather scandalous joke—

_—wait. what?_

Kija breaks through the surface with a gasp, running his hands through his pale hair as he watches small droplets drip down from his fringe. _Hold on,_ he thinks, staring at his reflection. Did he really just compare the beautiful sight of the sun reflecting off the water with Jae-ha’s… _smile?_ Just like that, the green-haired man’s face had passed through his mind, casually, as if Kija thought about him all the time. 

If Kija were more honest with himself, he would realize that he _did._

“You’re up rather early.”

Kija jolts and whirls around to find none other than Jae-ha right behind him, crouched down and looking at him curiously. His green hair is still a bit mussed from sleep, Kija notes.

“So are you,” Kija replies evenly, raising a brow. Jae-ha rarely ever got up so early— he was usually the last one, second only to Zeno. 

Jae-ha yawns. “I woke up and couldn’t fall back asleep,” he shrugs. “I saw you were missing and figured I would keep you company,” he finishes with a small smirk. 

“How very generous of you,” Kija deadpans, stepping out and wringing out his hair. 

“You wound me,” Jae-ha feigns pain, clutching his chest. “Admit it, Kija-kun,” he drawls and tosses him his clothes. “You enjoy my presence.”

Kija catches it easily. “Yes, yes, Ryokuryuu-sama. I feel so blessed, standing here with you— if I only I weren’t so _unworthy._ ”

Jae-ha doesn’t miss a beat. “On the contrary, I think you’re plenty worthy.” 

There is no dishonesty laced in his voice, Kija notices with a small, hidden smile. He peeks over his shoulder to find Jae-ha watching him, evergreen eyes strong and unwavering; although there is something else, something Kija can’t quite place. Even so, Jae-ha does not look away, and Kija suddenly feels uncharacteristically self-conscious.

“What?” Kija prods, tying his robe. They look at each other for one, two more seconds— and then the moment passes.

Jae-ha opens his mouth, no doubt prepared with a smart-mouthed reply, but he closes it instead. “Nothing,” he mutters, getting up and walking away.

Kija stares at his retreating back, feeling something unpleasant settling in his chest. He’s disappointed, he realizes with a frown and sits down, his wet hair soaking the top of his shoulders.

He isn’t sure when it happened, but as he watches the sun rise in a brilliant red, Kija realizes that he might have fallen for him. Somewhere between all the battles, fighting back to back, taking care of him as nadai wreaked havoc on his body, his adamant support and protection at the hot springs, the unspoken words Kija somehow always knew were on Jae-ha’s mind— _I understand what you were trying to protect—_ Kija fell quietly in love. 

x

“I,” Kija begins, “trust you more than anyone else.”

Jae-ha’s head rises a bit from it’s resting place in his hand, his expression surprised at Kija’s sudden confession. The others had long since gone to bed— it was only the two of them, the small, dying embers of their fire illuminating the small campsite.

His green eyes meet Kija’s, fleetingly. “You do?”

“I don’t know how,” Kija continues, staring at the bright flames scattered along the scorched wood. “I don’t know why, either. I just do.” His dragon-hand covers his left, and clenches. “And it’s a bit strange, isn’t it? I never thought _you,_ of all people, would be the one.” _The one I would fall for._

If Jae-ha catches the hidden meaning behind Kija’s words, he doesn’t show it. “You make it sound like it’s a horrible thing,” he says, smiling, but it’s melancholy. “Is it?”

“At one point, I thought it might be,” Kija admits. “But, it’s not.”

Jae-ha lets out a short laugh at that. “Always so honest.”

“Jae-ha. It’s _not._ ”

His reaffirming words seem to strike a chord in Jae-ha— he looks at Kija then, straight-on, unguarded and vulnerable. A ghost of a smile rests on his lips.

“I was wrong about you, you know,” Jae-ha murmurs, biting his lip in thought. “I always thought we were too different, you and I. That you would never understand anything about me.” He smiles then, genuinely, and Kija’s breath hitches. “Turns out you’re the one who understands me best. And that _is_ strange.”

“So it is,” Kija echoes, feeling his pulse quicken. “Jae-ha?”

“Hm?”

 _I like you. I love you._ “I’m glad we met,” is all Kija says. 

Jae-ha softens and reaches over to place a hand on Kija’s shoulder. “Me, too.”

His hand lingers. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm really not sure what this is. Just something I wrote up at 3 am after a wave of inspiration ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ I'm rusty after not writing fic for two years lmao forgive me!! feedback is appreciated ♡


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